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Could That Person Or Thing You Hate A Temporary Perception?

January 14th, 2008 by Wai Loong (1 Comment)

Imagine now you’re doing something you hate, or perhaps someone you hate is standing right in front of you right now. Can you immediately turn it around and stop hating it/him/her? I know what you’re thinking right now – “Is this kid an idiot or what? Why ask such a silly question?”.

Before you click off, I’d like to seriously challenge you to rethink that statement. Why on earth do you hate a person or object or task so much?

Most people do not even care to figure that out, or even reflect on why.

There are a few possibilities I think might be the real reason. See if you can identify with any…

  • You feel inferior to that person you’re comparing
  • You feel superior in comparison to that person
  • You’ve got hurt physically/emotionally by that thing or person
  • You can’t find any good reasons – you’re a bad tampered person
  • etc?

Love and hatred is relative. You can’t understand love without hatred.

If you happen to hate something you do, such as your job, then you obviously missed something interesting about it. Perhaps, it’s not the job you hate, but the repetitive task that adds little value to your life. If you can’t understand what I mean, allow me to relate a short story that I’ve caught over the radio a couple of days ago…

There was this postman who got so weary with his job that he decided to quit. He figured out that there was little worth in the job and there was little he could do about it. On that fateful day before he resigned, he was tasked to deliver a mail with its address badly smudged by rain water. Our postman got no choice but to figured the recipient manually by verifying it door to door in a neighborhood.

He was about to give up after countless of attempts before he came upon a door, painted all over in a shade of dull green.

A weak female voice greeted him… revealing the face of an elderly old lady. With a wrinkled face, the little old lady peak over the package and confirmed that it was addressed to her. In one stoke, she tore open the envelope, recovering a somewhat brownish little piece of paper. She barely finished reading and broke down into tears, weeping uncontrollably.

The postman was worried but curious at the same time. He was dying to know why. After much patience, the old lady pulled herself together and looked directly up at him.

“Thank you so much for delivering this!”, wiping the tears as she continued.

“You may not realize how much significance this has on me…”, waving the half-crumpled letter. “I’ve never dream that I will one day hear from my grandson, having separated by the civil war – more than 20 years ago!”.

The postman was totally shaken by the incidence. Had he quited earlier, this elderly lady might have died without ever reuniting with her grandson after waiting for almost a quarter of a century! Suddenly, he suddenly found tremendous meaning in the job he does.

Did the story moved you?

Maybe, or maybe not.

I’ve figured that much of our hatred comes from dissatisfaction against the object of interest.

Object of interest (or disinterest whatever you call it) can be anything. It can even be an experience. As we attempt to avoid the being of unpleasantness, we create actions of detest to counter the object. Actions may be thoughts, words or physical interactions.

Little did we realize that an equally counterforce is acting on our subconscious mind. We hurt ourselves emotionally by being in the state of dissatisfaction, a state of mind.

A very interesting article “Adam Khoo- The Person You Love to Hate?” recently written by Adam Khoo, goes to show how silly human beings can be in the struggle of dissatisfaction.

In that article, Adam described a recent interview with a journalist, how violently folks reacted to wealthy and rich people like himself. As a matter of fact, certain folks goes to the extend of destroying or defaming others in an attempt to justify their perception. Of course, all human beings are entitled to their own rights, their thoughts, speech and action. I’m just not about to ground that in any way.

Unfortunately, overreaction can lead one to much trouble. Just imagine that person or group (whatever it is) that did Adam a disservice by ripping off his work and claiming rights to their Forex ebooks, or the students who literally accused Adam and his learning group, for stealing materials rightfully belonging to Adam.

I can understand both side of their story though – who wouldn’t want to pay for a cheaper version of a similar course, such as an ebook and then to find out the same, if not similar material that is already packaged in a more expensive trading course such as that one is taking (or worse, has taken)? Unfortunately, cheap is relative, as in disorganized information.

The same information can be sold based on perception of value. And that is why marketing is so important. The same information can be perceived by one to be priceless, to someone who is skillful in a particular trade/industry.

On the other hand the same information can be completely worthless to another who does not have the wisdom or readiness to receive it.

Similarly, love and hatred may be a perception. But don’t take my word for it… for it’s my own hypothesis.

Perception can be so dynamic.

Without proper understanding, we tend to hate something we do, or someone we may not like, for unknown reason, maybe on emotion?

It’s a bit like natural instinct. The day or instance we realize that our perception on an object/view is flawed, we might be completely pissed off, either at our own stupidity or stubbornness

Not to mention rubbing into our valued ego, to embrace the necessary change needed to fix that flawed perception!

Everyday, I see a bunch of white collar and students jammed packed onto the buses and train, without giving a secondary consideration to how others may feel.

I used to hate adults for not giving way to students on buses who may be late for schools. Looking back now, my perception has changed. I now understand that no matter what age you are now, you will want to hate others for not giving way to you, or even tries to elbow you on the bus and train. Everyone seems to be in a hurry, everyone’s trapped in a mentality of fear – a fear for the scarcity of resources. It’s as though winning that extra minutes trumping on others will earn them a million dollars!

What a concept!

Rather than getting upset, I learn to slow down and take things easy. Sometimes when I’m really pissed off, I hum one of my favorite tune (a 2999 Christmas tune by Micheal Wong) and soon my frustration subsided. The key is to let go.

That leaves me to conclude that our feelings may be managed to a certain extend – and sometimes even changed or altered quickly by distracting ourselves with some blissful memories, taste, smell, flavor etc. Perhaps that’s what NLP can do for you (if you ever heard of it in the first place)!

As we all grow older and die, do we defile our worldly perception daily, or do we polish and refine it just like a piece of deep-sea-green coloured jade? I guess what’s missing perhaps, is the lack of understanding of how we all are interconnected in this universe.

In the long run, we all will pass into the darkness, buried together with all our love and hatred that we all hold so dear onto. Or will our energy be disintegrated and transformed back to the universe?

The sooner we all master how to forgive others, the less pain we inflict to our mind.

Very few people are dedicated enough to read such a long blog post and I really must thank you for reaching this far!

Don’t be afraid to leave me a comment on how you feel.

I’m always looking forward to learn from your wisdom too!

As Adam has always taught, live a life with passion!

And do enjoy an excellent week ahead!

Posted in Life

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One Response:

ceneple on March 20th, 2008 at 1:09 am

True, human perceptions can be misleading sometimes. It can destroy or build a person’s life.

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About Insights, Inspirations, Tranquility, Peace and Harmony

Ng Wai Loong

Wai Loong is an electronics engineer by profession. He currently resides in Singapore, a thriving hub at the heart of South-East Asia. When he is not so stress out on the computers or laboratory, he enjoys value reading, jogging at his own pace and blogging in his spare time. Other times, he likes to catch up with some close friends over a cup of latte or teh tarik. As a gift from this friend, you are invited to interact freely with him on his personal blog.

PS: May the person reading this blog transforms his/her businesses, finances, relationships and life for ALL to WIN!